I am in pain.

For this world.

Together, with God’s creation, I am groaning for the salvation of this world.

I heard of the earthquake in Nepal and my heart broke. How many died that didn’t know their Savior? How many were lost because of the fear or unwillingness of God’s children to travel to the ends of the earth? Could prayers have protected this nation?

I don’t know.

But it made me think of this world and how many still don’t know Jesus. How many don’t realize they are loved. How many still have no hope.

It made me think I should be doing more.

For years, my body has been dictating my future. It says it can’t handle too much. It starts to get sick if I stress. It loves to rest and sleep and drift into…

Solitude.

But my heart says, “Let’s go save the world! Let’s tell everyone about Jesus! Let’s love and love and love and be loved by God!”

There is a war inside of me.

And let us not forget my mind. “Ah,” says she, “but what if? What if you offend them? What if you fail? What if you aren’t skilled enough? Brave enough? Gifted enough? Good enough?”

Enough!!

I speak unity over myself! May my heart, body, and mind come together in unity with God’s spirit!

Father, you know me. You know what I desire. You know my fears. You know my physical limitations. Regardless of it all, I believe nothing is impossible if you would be with me.

So, show me God. What are YOU thinking? What is YOUR heart saying? What do YOU say I am able to do?

What do you want Papa?

Oh! I just want to love everyone well! I want to go where you go! Lord, teach me to be still and listen to your voice. I can’t love without you. I need you to love. I need you for everything. You know me God, I need you…

I am yours.

I am yours.

I am yours.

Till the next chapter,
Katya