My Very Public, Private Book

My Very Public, Private Book

You and Me

Lord, where are you?

I am here.

Lord, I’m scared.

Have no fear.

Lord, show me.

You will see.

Lord, help me.

Ask and receive.

Lord, I need you.

I’m all you need.

Lord, my faith is as small as a mustard seed.

Beloved, just trust Me and believe.

Lord, I thank you for being with me.

Beloved, where else would I be?

Lord, I love you.

I love you more.

Till the next chapter,
Katya

Togetherness

I miss smiles
wide
crooked
pearly white
broken
missing teeth
shining bright
braces
big gap
little gap
smiles

I miss shaking hands
strong
limp
loose
firm
sweaty
hot
germ-y
cold
rough
smooth
hand shakes

I miss being close
invading my bubble
less than two feet
can hear me whisper
can hear you breathe
kind of close

I miss hugs
the bear
the polite
kissing cheeks
hello
good-bye
the lingering
the way too tight
squeezing with all your might
the side ones
the intimate
the London Bridge
the super quick
and all the other awkward
hugs

I miss classrooms
footsteps
small talk
chatter
pencils falling
ruffling papers
running to class
laughter
being together
in a classroom

I miss traveling
packing
leaving
flying
arriving
walking
seeing
trying
buying
meeting people while
traveling

I used to miss
discovering new places
together on bikes
reading books
to pass the time
game nights
staying in
connecting with
old friends
tea with grandma
time with mom
writing poetry
writing songs
reflecting on life
passing like mist
these are things
I no longer miss
while we fight for

togetherness.

What I miss now
Time will change
What I missed then
May it remain

Seek the beauty
And you will find
Even in these
Trying times

We will rise
We will sing
Above the chaos of
CoVid-19

Till the next chapter,
Katya

It’s Just Another Day

It’s just another day
I say to me
Then why does my heart
Flutter expectantly

I woke up the same
As I normally do
I am as I was
Nothing new

Hair still curly
Eyes still brown
Still a teacher of
Verbs and nouns

Full of dreams
Head in the clouds
On the piano, creating
Whimsical sounds

For most it’s just a day
Another one in the year
I said the same yesterday
Until it was here

Now I’m little excited
A little full of glee
I’m another year older
Happy birthday to me

October 12, 2020

Till the next chapter,
Katya

Post-Secondary

Procrastinate
Stay up late
When’s the last time I ate?

No time for friends
Social life ends
Where are all of my pens?

Sleep deprived
Barely alive
Ready for break at Week Five

Ten-page essay
In APA
Due by 11:59

Today.

Group projects
Unread texts
Professor, don’t call on me next.

Please.

Tuition, bills
Supplement pills
No more time to kill

Hours are hoarded
Seconds are sorted
This Zoom class is being recorded?

All are afraid
As “The Midterm” invades
When will you post the grades?

One day.

Professors, enthused
Classmates, confused
When’s the next project due?

Next week.

Post-Secondary
School of the weary
And the extraordinary

Knowledge abounds
Teaching astounds
Yet we hear the sound

of crying.

Waves of stress
Hair is a mess
Trying to remember I’m blessed

Somewhere in the midst
Of academic abyss
I hear: You got this.

As classes conclude
Time resumes
And I pray, I too

shall pass.

Till the next chapter,
Katya

Just a Little Step

Just a little step
Little one
Little two

Everywhere you’ve been
You’ve had me
I’ve had you

Into the unknown
A step here
A step there

I’ll be there till the end
You have me
I have you

Till the next chapter,
Katya

The World Can Wait

The world can wait
Until I’m awake
Have opened my eyes
Forgotten my dreams

The world can wait
While I open the shades
See the sky is grey
Sit and watch the rain

The world can wait
Until I’ve sipped my tea
A drink of some serenity
Before I seize the day

The world can wait
Until I meditate
Take a spiritual breath
And have prayed
For strength

The world can wait
While I tarry
Finding sweet silence
Something extraordinary

“The world can wait,”
I quietly say
As I slow my pace
To write this poem

Yet the world has stayed
Loud as ever
I discover
As I turn on my phone

Till the next chapter,
Katya

Just For A Moment

Just for a moment

In an inhale and exhale
There is nothing more
To see or perceive
Nor My-God-I-can’t-believe
Moments

Just for a moment

The world has stopped
Pushed pause
No chaos
Just us
Loved

Just for a moment

Air is clear
No more fear
We can cheer
As we all stand
Together

Just for a moment

Then I blink

Hard to think
To find us here
Seeking an end
Trying to begin
Again

Just for a moment 
We are all free

Till the next chapter,
Katya

If we seek, we will find.

We see the weeds, overgrown, tangled in a web of its own devising, and miss what is beyond. Through the thicket and over the dry patches, a land of promise is found. A piece of green goodness in the midst of it all.

A place of hope.

It’s only seen from a window-like opening in the brush, easily missed in the forest’s nest. Yet, it remains there is a world beyond what we see or know,

unveiled to the seekers,

known by the believers.

Perhaps if we seek, we will find.

Till the next chapter,
Katya

Water and Oil

Like water and oil
The differences are apparent
Morning’s gentle rain
Sea’s violent torrent

Corruption and illusion
An explosion in the distance
Unearth this forbidden fusion
Hear the cries of resistance

The lover and the fighter
The fawn and the foe
You will pay to ferry away
Everything you know

A disease is contagious
Running miles downhill
Take cover, be aware
Compromise can kill

Don’t cover your senses, child
Stay alert and on guard
Your spirit cannot be captured
Nor can it be marred

Come back, come back
To the place of origin
Before the temptation
Before the forbidden

Come back, come back
Before the aftermath
Will you choose
The narrow path?

Do all in secret
Abide in the master
Walk into the center
Of chaos and disaster

Flicker little light
Fight until the end
You cannot hide now
It is time to ascend

Up the hill we go
Resist the invisible
Threaten pain with truth
Freedom is attainable

Fire, become fire
Burn bright and long
The sun is rising now
The earth breathes her song

The shadow has entered its cage
Wake the sleepers from the ground
Rise, O Slain Warriors
The lost people have been found

Soldiers near and far
We know your name
Love isn’t indifferent
Thus guardians we became

Time, times and half a time
Corruption may have its way
But look ahead and you will see
Forever is a day

Warriors, fight well
Creators, do not give in
People of the resistance
Let the war begin

Till the next chapter,
Katya


Walk With Me

Let’s go for a walk
Just you and I
Feel the wind’s fingertips
Watch the ocean sigh

Let’s go for a walk
Upon the creaking steps
Mist rising from the sea
Filling our breath

Let’s go for a walk
Towards the setting light
Where music is singing
Where all is made right

Come with me, Beloved
To the end of the pier
Every one of our days
Every day of our years

Let’s go for a walk
To the end of the fear

Till the next chapter,
Katya